Saturday, March 28, 2009

Bottom of the News… Friday, March 27, 2009

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. Today, it is Duck Facts time because after Jim Angstman threw out the challenge for all of us to go duck hunting I thought if we all are going to have a bunch of those little critters hanging around we’d all better know more about them. So, here you go…

Ducks were once wild until they were domesticated by the Chinese in the 1500’s; but be careful with yours because some may still have a free spirit!

Ducks' feathers are waterproof. There is a special gland that produces oil near the tail that spreads and covers the outer coat of feathers. Beneath this waterproof layer are fluffy and soft feathers to keep the duck warm.

All of the Peking ducks in the United States are descendents from three ducks and one drake imported to Long Island, New York in 1873.

Ducks' feet have no nerves or blood vessels. This means ducks never feel the cold, even if they swim in icy cold water. So, you don’t have to worry about little duck socks or insulated web covers.

A duck has three eyelids. They like to wink a lot.

Ducks can live from 2-12 years, depending on the species; so if you get attached to any of yours there’s a good chance you can reconnect at next year’s race!

A duck's quack has no echo. Even in a big culvert?

A male duck is called a drake, a female is called a duck. Babies are called ducklings. So is it duck duck or just duck? I am confused. What about that game duck duck goose goose? I wonder what that means???

A duck waddles instead of walking because of their webbed feet. And those webs act like big paddles when they swim. So, the winners should be wearing a size 18!!!

Little known facts for our or maybe “useless” information for our Bottom of the News, but hey, we are having a Quacking good time this Friday, March 27, 2009!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Bottom of the News… Friday, March 20, 2009

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. Today I thought you all should know that because of our current economic environment that we have several new “Stock Market” terms that you all should be aware of and here they are…

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just down-graded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

And there you have it… new financial terms definitions! And this is our latest Bottom of the News for Friday, March 20, 2009! ###

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Bottom of the News… “Tribute to Paul Harvey” Friday, March 13, 2009

Good morning my fellow Rotarians! February 28th was a sad day for many American radio broadcasters, who lost Paul Harvey at the age of 90. Paul Harvey Aurandt, worked for ABC Radio with daily broadcasts of his News and Comment and his more famous The Rest of the Story segments. He was on the air by the age of 14 and he built his audience to over 22 million weekly listeners on 1200 radio stations. He was the king of radio long before Rush. He would open his broadcasts with…

"Hello Americans, I'm Paul Harvey. You know what the news is, in a minute, you're going to hear ... the rest of the story." I thought a fitting tribute would be to share a letter to his grandkids that he wrote a few years back…

“…We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like YOU to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you turn sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let them. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as un-cool as your Mom.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and to read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl. Or that when you talk back to your mother you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not really your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and yes, happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you. Send this to all of your friends. And remember, we secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.”

As a long ago radio guy, I admired Paul Harvey. He was a man who represented traditional values and common sense. This is my tribute to him on this Friday, March13, 2009… “Good day!”