Kid Wedding Advice

Wedding Advice from Kids

Good morning Daybreak Rotarians.  Anyone who is about to get married and maybe you are looking for some last minute advice?  Or newlyweds?   I recently received an email forward from my mom and she said some of this “advice” from kids is priceless, so I thought I’d share it with you this morning. 

·       HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?  

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. – Mary, age 10

·       WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

-No age is good enough to get married.  You gotta be a fool to get married. – Isaiah, age 6

·       HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

-You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. – Derrick, age 8 (Brilliant!)

·       WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?  

-Both don’t want any more kids.  — Lori, age 8

·       WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?  

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. – Martin, age 10

·       WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?  

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. – Curt, age 7

·       IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?  

-It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. – Anita, age 9

·       HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

-Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. – Oscar, age 7

And that is the bottom of our news as on this Friday, May 301st, 2013. 

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Oops & Bloopers!

Say What!?

Good morning my fellow Rotarians.  This week I thought you might enjoy some church bulletin typos and bloopers from across America.

“Ladies, remember our rummage sale this Saturday; it's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.”

“At tonight’s evening service the sermon is entitled "What is Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.”

“Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.”

“Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.”

“Remember to pray for the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love and say "hell" to someone who doesn't like you.

“The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.”

“Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.”

“The ‘Low Self Esteem Support Group’ will meet this Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.”

“Our Associate Minister unveiled the church's new fundraising campaign slogan last Sunday entitled… ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours’."

“Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double doors at the side entrance.”

And there you have them, real church bloopers as the Bottom of the News for Friday, May 24, 2013.   ###

Mother's Day

What Moms Want for Mother’s Day
 

Good morning Daybreak Rotarians.  How many guys remember that “Mother’s Day” is this Sunday?  Okay, put a reminder on your smart phone right now!  Well, some moms choose to be proactive and they tell their kids what they want for mother's day.  Here is a letter that my mom sent to me. 

Dear Children:

Mother’s Day is coming and I thought I should tell you what I want. This way there’s no guilty panic or last minute purchasing of flowers at the closest gas station. So, this is what I want, this year and every year after; it’s pretty simple really.

·       I want you to be a decent human being.

·       I want you to work hard at everything you do, because life is too short not to give it everything you’ve got.

·       I want you to ask for help when you need it.

·       I want you to help others when they need it.

·       I want you to learn how to cook, do your own laundry, pay your bills and know how to clean a bathroom.

·       When you screw up, and you will, more than once, I want you to own it, because it’s the screw-ups that make you a better person.

·       I want you to know that even when we hate each other, I will never stop loving you.

·       I want you to play nicely with others.

·       I want you to find a way to do what you love, and realize that that might look different than you originally thought.

·       I want you to sometimes be more interested in someone else than in yourself.

·       I want you to know that you are flawed and you are extraordinary. There is no one else like you.

·       I want you to realize how lucky you are every once in awhile even if only for an instant.

·       I want you to know love, even if it means getting hurt.

·       I want you to know life can be brutally hard sometimes.

·       I want you to know that you can choose happiness even when the dark side offers you cookies.

·       I want you to know that having faith in God will keep you grounded and humble as you go through the ups and downs in life.

And I wouldn’t mind breakfast in bed.  See, it is simple.

Love… Mom

And that my friends is the bottom of our news as we remember our Moms on this Friday, May 10th, 2013.  ###