Thursday, April 12, 2012

Why This Wife Chooses to Shop Alone!

Good morning my fellow Rotarians and welcome to the bottom of the news.  Today I will provide you with proof of what can happen when a woman drags her highly disinterested husband along when shopping.  This letter was sent from the manager of a Hypermart in London to one of his local customers. 
Dear Mrs. Murray:
While we thank you for your valued patronage and the use of our store loyalty card, I must tell you that I am seriously considering banning you and your family from shopping with us because of  your husband’s continued antics. 

Below is a list of just a few of the offenses over the past few months that have been verified by our in-store security cameras. 

·  July 15th…  Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s shopping carts when they were not looking.
·  August 3rd…  Moved all of the “Caution – Wet Floor” signs to the carpeted areas of our store.
·  August 20th…  Set all of the alarm clocks in the House wares department to go off at five minute intervals.
·  September 10th…  Looked right into one of our security cameras and used it as a mirror to aggressively pick his nose.
·  September 27th…  Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
·  October 12th…  Hid in a clothing rack in the women’s department and would yell at passer Byers, “pick me, pick me!”
·  November 24th…  Went into a fitting room, shut the door and then yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

Mrs. Murray, please understand that your husband is not welcome in our store because of the disruptions he has caused with our customers.  You are welcome to shop at our Hypermart alone.  Thank you.

Sincerely…  Frank Sinclair, Store Manager, Hypermart 

Well, I think the guy deserves a medal!  At least he had some fun.  And there you have it, the bottom of the news for this Friday, April 13, 2012.   Have a GREAT weekend!