Bottom of the News… Friday, February 26, 2010

I thought I’d share a few recent Stella Award winners. These awards named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's. Awards recognize the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.

5th Place: Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, PA was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.

4th Place: Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, AK was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: Amber Carson of Lancaster, PA was paid $113,500 by Philadelphia restaurant after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. So much for being responsible for your own actions!

2nd Place: Kara Walton, of Claymont, DL sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000 plus dental expenses. Go figure.

1st Place: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, OK was driving her new 32-foot Winnebago motor home from an OU football game. On the freeway she set the cruise control at 70 mph and left the driver's seat to make a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1.7 million PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Definitely outlandish and ridiculous! And this is the Bottom of the News on this Friday, February 27, 2010.

###

Bottom of the News… Friday, February 19, 2010

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. Today I thought it would be good to hear a few tips of timeless wisdom from some kids. These sound like “been there, done that” type of advice…

“Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10

“When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" Don't answer." Hannah, age 9

“Never tell your Mom her diet's not working." Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes." Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at Dad, don't let her brush your hair." Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac." Andrew, age 9

"Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, age 9

“Don't pick on you sister when she's holding a baseball bat." Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone." Alyesha, age 13

"Never never ever try to baptize a cat!" Eileen, age 8

There you go, kids do say the darndest things as the Bottom of the News on this Friday, February 19, 2010. ###

Bottom of the News… Friday, February 5, 2010

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. Well the month of February is the LOVE Month and here are a few facts surrounding this special holiday that you may not be aware of…

What is origin of Valentines Day? An imprisoned St. Valentine died on Feb 14, 269 AD and legend says he had become friends with and had fallen in love with the jailer’s daughter. He signed his farewell note "From Your Valentine" and 230 years later, the Pope set aside the date to honor St. Valentine.

How has the tradition of cards continued? Until the mid 1800’s Valentine cards only came in the form of love notes from the man. Women NEVER sent notes to men! The tradition became westernized and then women got into the act. Until the mid 1900s all cards typically were homemade, had lace decorating and always a red heart. Today Valentine cards come in all forms.

How important is chocolate around V-Day? 1.1 billion boxes of chocolates will be sold throughout the U.S. with more than 58 million pounds of chocolate candy will be sold during Valentine's week alone. Consumers will purchase more than $345 million in chocolate candy during this week.

How many roses are sold on V-Day? 189 million stems of roses are sold in the U.S. just on Valentine's Day alone; 1.2 billion are sold the entire year.

Last year I gave the men some gift ideas for their special ladies and this year ladies I have some things that… GUYS would LOVE to get from YOU on V-Day!

Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card… Hey, we all make mistakes. Every man needs unconditional amnesty once in a great while. Only allow for mild screw-ups, not major deals; it allows your guy to avoid your wrath.

Silence… Contrary to popular belief, married men quite often want to stay home and be alone. Do nights when he can rule the remote and eat chicken-fried bacon pizza. It can be a great recharger for his emotional batteries.

Less Makeup… A little eyeliner and lipstick are great. But unless you're a TV anchor, guys believe you don’t need much! Just ask your guy, I bet he thinks you're cute no matter what, right guys?

Binoculars… The best gift is unexpected, something he wouldn't buy for himself. Believe it or not, guys will remember the first time they were fascinated by binoculars as a little boy. (All boys are). They are waterproof, shockproof, and, most importantly, cool lookin'.

To be in a Rock Band… Whether he fronted a band in college or can't even play the kazoo, every guy secretly dreams of being a rock star, but it never happens; consider Guitar Hero or Beatles Rock Band.

There you have it, little known Valentine’s Day info as our Bottom of the News on this Friday, February 5, 2010. ###