Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bottom of the News… Friday, October 1, 2010

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. Did you know that 120 years ago tomorrow the man who was one of the quickest wits in comedy was born October 2, 1890. Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was born in Manhattan, NY. Groucho was in radio, TV and films; he made 13 films with brothers Harpo & Chico. Movies such as The Cocoanuts, Animal Crackers, Monkey Business, Horse Feathers, Duck Soup, and A Night at the Opera.

His most successful radio/TV shows were You Bet Your Life and Tell it to Groucho. His distinctive appearance, carried over from his days in vaudeville, included quirks such as an exaggerated stooped posture, glasses, cigars, and a thick greasepaint moustache and eyebrows. Groucho died August 1977 at the age of 87, but with little notice because it was only 3 days after Elvis died.

And I thought I’d share some of Groucho’s quotes…
• Although most know, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
• Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
• Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
• He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot!
• You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.
• I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
• I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
• If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
• I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
• Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
• Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

And there you have it, the man with the moustache, eyebrows and funny walk, Groucho Marx, in honor of his 120th birthday as the bottom of our news for this Friday, October 2, 2010.


Thursday, September 16, 2010

Bottom of the News… Friday, September 17, 2010

Adolescent Proverbs

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. This morning I’m happy to report that officially we have some new and “improved” Proverbs as reported by Miss Laura Smith, first grade teacher from Delaware. Miss Smith gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here are a few samples…

Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.
Never underestimate the power of… termites.
A miss is as good as a… mister.
An idle mind is… the best way to relax.

Happy is the bride who… gets all the presents.
Two is company, three’s… the Musketeers.
None are so blind as… Helen Keller.
When the blind lead the blind… get out of the way!

Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.
Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
The pen is mightier than… the pigs.

You can’t teach an old dog… math.
If you lie with dogs, you will… stink in the morning.
Strike while the… bug is close.
A penny saved… is not much.

And there you have ‘em, adolescent proverbs from a bunch of first graders as the bottom of our news for this Friday, September 17, 2010.