"Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can at a restaurant. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a very large burrito."
"A caller to 911 reports hitting an intruder in his house in the head with an axe. The called then went on to say that the intruder 'was in the mirror.'"
"A man came to the Sheriff's Department to 'find out how to legally kill' a person who was harassing him. He thought he would ask the police directly because he didn't want to break any laws or anything.”
"A caller reported at 7:14 pm that someone was on a porch yelling 'help' from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling a cat that was named 'Help.' Who would name their cat 'Help?!'
"The Learning Connection Kids Center reported a man standing at his window across the street for hours, making parents nervous... Police identify the subject as a cardboard life-size cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
"Looking for a trespasser, police enter a building and call out, "Marco..." Police found the suspect when he responded, 'Polo.'"
“Police respond to an incident at Lower Duck Pond where it was reported that two dogs were running loose and attaching ducks at 11:20 am Sunday morning. The officer cited a resident for the loose dogs. The duck refused medical treatment and left the area according to police records.”
There you go… Police reports as the Bottom of the News for Friday, February 15, 2013! ###