Bottom of the News… Friday, December 11, 2009

Good morning my fellow Rotarians, well, it has been a few weeks since I have reported to you. My thanks to brother Carpenter for ably filling in this past week. Of course was on an all time record snow day marathon with Kirkwood out for the past three days! Well tis the season and with lots of holiday news on the wires. Our first story comes from…

Tonawanda, New York… 'TIS THE SEASON: A man stopped by police headquarters to offer holiday greetings and deliver a Christmas wreath to the officers on duty. The guy seemed to be acting suspicious and so an officer called the store next door, where the wreath came from, and wouldn’t you know it, the man stole the wreath! When confronted, he admitted to the theft and was arrested, but begged for leniency claiming that it was “the thought that counted” during this Christmas season.

Bethesda, Maryland… FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA FELONY: For six years, the United Methodist Church has sold Christmas trees from their parking lot to raise funds for a medical clinic in Tanzania. They open the day after Thanksgiving, but this year an "anonymous tipster" called police stating that it is illegal in Montgomery County to sell Christmas trees before December 5th. The county sheriff shut down the lot, but didn't charge the Pastor the normal $500 fine. The pastor of course was still outraged, calling the action “ludicrous" and demanding that the county change the law. County officials agreed to get right on it and set the initial hearing to review the law, for February 3rd.

Franksville, Wisconsin… JESUS ON A DONKEY: The bad economy is impacting live church nativity scenes; rented camels are too expensive for "wise men" to ride, costing $500-700 per day, including a handler and liability insurance. So, groups look for less expensive substitutes such as sheep, which run $25 a day or donkeys. "It goes up and down with the economy," said the owner of Jo-Don Farms. "Some groups cut camels and don’t know whether to pick sheep or donkeys. I just tell people… Hey think about, ‘what would Jesus do?’ Well, he would pick a donkey, so for $75 bucks I give them the Jesus deal and they think I’m a spiritual genius!”

Wellington, Florida… NO CRIB FOR HIS BED: The baby Jesus statue is stolen so often from nativity scenes in Wellington that Jesus is not outfitted with GPS tracking devices to expedite recovery. "Jesus is small and easy to steal, while the animals are too big.” said John Bonde, city administrator. Last year, an 18-year-old woman took Jesus and because of the GPS tracker police showed up at her door within an hour. She was originally charged with a felony, but she pleaded to the judge to allow her to join the Marines instead of doing jail time. The judge agreed and now she is telling people that she will be serving time and fighting for Jesus!

And there you have it, holiday hi-jinks in the Bottom of our News on this Friday, December 11, 2009! ###