Why Parents Drink 

Good morning my fellow Rotarians, well today’s story kind of hit home in our house this week since it was the end of a semester for our son Logan.  After a few days of scrambling to prep for finals and a couple of late nights to finish projects it was interesting to see how he fared with his final grades. 

This story is all about the infamous ‘report card’...

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'  With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. 

Dear Dad: 

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.  I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. 

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion...  Dad, she's pregnant.  Stacy said that we will be very happy. 

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.  Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. 

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.  In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. 

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.  Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren

Love,

Your Son John 

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.  I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a bad report card.  It is in my center desk drawer.  I love you.  Call me when it's safe to come home.

And that is why parents drink…  It’s our Bottom of the News on this Friday, 3-11-2011!  ###