Saturday, September 15, 2007

And now for the bottom of the news for September 14, 2007...

CHARLOTTE, NC: A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON!

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be “unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires."

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

ABBOTSFORD, BC Canada: Two men were arrested a few weeks back for operating the same vehicle while intoxicated in the Abbotsford area.

Harvey Miller, age 43, has no legs and was only steering the 1985 Chevrolet truck from the driver's seat, according to his own admission. Edwin Marzinske, his friend who has legs, was operating the brake and gas pedals, according to the police report.

After police pulled the men over at 2:40 in the morning, Miller argued with police that he was not driving the car because he couldn't push the pedals, even though he admitted he was too drunk to drive. The police didn’t buy it and Miller was arrested on his third drunk driving offense, while his friend was cited for a second offense.

There was a third man in the car and he was drunk as well. He decided however to walked himself home after the incident.

EAST DUBLIN, GA: Two states, Texas and Georgia, now have their own official American Redneck Games! The games were held in July and were not just for good ole southern boys, but included female contestants and a coed division as well.

Some of the more notable “competitions” included…
• Mud-pit belly-flopping
• Armpit music competition
• Mattress chucking
• Red-neck horseshoes (played with toilet seats)
• A Spam-and-jalapeno-eating contest…
• And the most popular event of all… The coed butt-crack contest!

A proud wife of one of the contestants said… “There is something really special about watching 10 good ole boys chawing away at pink bricks of Spam while Steppenwolf's 'Born to Be Wild' is blaring in the background; only in America!"

And that, my friends, is the bottom of the news for this Friday, September 14th, 2007.

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