This week's bottom of the news is... Top 10 Most Practical 'Out of Office' Automatic E-mail Replies. Here are some ideas that you can use to spice up your auto replies:

# 10. Thank you for your message, which has been added to our q-ing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

# 9. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (NOTE: The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over!)

# 8. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

# 7. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

# 6. I’m out of the office for 2 weeks due to medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Bob'

# 5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

# 4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

# 3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't receive anything from me at all.

# 2. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

# 1. I've run away to join a different circus!

And that, my friends, is the bottom of the news on September 21, 2007.

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