Friday, November 30, 2007

Bottom of the News… Friday, November 30, 2007

Good morning my fellow Rotarians… For our news this week we will look at a report recently released by the American Assoc for Retired People, AARP. With baby boomers just starting to retire, AARP decided to conduct a study on the best parts of the country to live after retirement.

You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 a year and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them in minutes rather than miles.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get somewhere in the city, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
2. You think Central Park is a "nature area".
3. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
4. You've worn out a car horn.
5. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with fewer than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy ammo in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid legal defense.
4. Everyone has two first names -- Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

So, for you early boomers out there, you now have the results of this AARP survey and this will help you to make a more educated decision about where you may want to retire - Darrell, are you listening?

And this is the bottom of the news for Friday November 30, 2007.


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