Monday, November 19, 2007

Good morning my fellow Rotarians… For our news this week I thought it would be fun to look what is going on in corporate America, according to one of foremost business experts… Dilbert.

You know the nerdy guy and comic strip character that seems to right on the right on the money when pointing out the obvious and the absurd in the workplace. According to Dilbert’s official magazine, "Dilbert Management Today", the Dilbert Immediate Response Team (or DIRT Team) continually is on the lookout for real-life Dilbert-type managers.

So, here are a few REAL quotes from Dilbert managers across America…

1. (Switching supervisor, AT&T) "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

2. An employee was telling his boss that his sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for the following Monday. The boss did not react well, telling the employee that his sister died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. When the boss asked if the employee if he could change her funeral to Friday, the boss was quoted as saying, "Friday would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

3. Quote from the boss (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation): "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."

4. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, 3M Corp.)

5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

6. "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Marketing manager, UPS)

7. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

8. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)

9. (Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp.) "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."

Yes, Dilbert if alive and well in corporate America! And this is the bottom of the news on this Friday November 16, 2007.

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