Bottom of the News… Friday, May 16, 2008

Good morning my fellow Rotarians… This past Sunday was one of all time favorite special Sundays as Mother’s Day. Better late than never to still go ahead and honor our mom’s with some LESSONS TAUGHT BY MOM…

My mother taught me about being a contortionist… "Look at the back of your neck. It's filthy."

My mother taught me about stamina… "You will sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about weather… "Your room looks like it was hit by a tornado."

My mother taught me about straight talk… "If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate."

My mother taught me religion… "You had better pray that the stuff you spilled will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me foresight… "Make sure you wear clean underwear. You never know when you might be in an accident and be taken to the hospital."

My mother taught me control… "Keep laughing and I will give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis… "Shut your mouth, and eat your supper."

My mother taught me logic… "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me there's a time and place for everything… "If you are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house."

My mother taught me patience and fear... "Wait til you father gets home!"

My mother taught me the quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

My mother taught me a closed mouth gathers no foot.

My mother taught me that some days you are the bug and other days you are the windshield.

My mother taught me never to test the depth of the water with both feet.

My mother taught me if you always tell the truth, you won't have to remember what you said and to whom.

So, to all moms, even though a few days late… we love you and thank you for your pearls of wisdom… Happy (belated) Mother’s Day!

And that is the Bottom of the News for Friday, May 16, 2008.

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