Bottom of the News… Friday, August 28, 2009

Good morning my fellow Rotarians. Do you recall Murphy’s Law… “If anything can go wrong it will”? Well, this saying has been around for centuries, but was made famous by Capt. Edward Murphy, an Air Force engineer in charge of a 1968 testing project on how sudden stops from crashes effect pilots. Do they need to runs tests to know the results???

Apparently the testing went wrong quite often and Murphy would say the same thing after each failed test. A project manager decided to keep a list of other “Laws" that the crew came up with during this project and here are a few of them…

Law of Gravity… Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability… The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Dialing… If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of Variation … If you change traffic lanes on the way to the base, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you change to (works every time).

Law of Starbucks … As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, a ranking officer will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of the Result… When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Close Encounters… The probability of meeting someone you know off the base increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of Mechanical Repair… After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the restroom.

Law of Physical Surfaces … The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor is directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.

Law of Logical Argument … Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of the Alibi… If you tell the colonel you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of Public Speaking… A closed mouth gathers no feet.

There they are, Murphy’s recently discovered Laws as the Bottom of the News this Friday, August 28, 2009! ###