Father Knows Best!

Good morning my fellow Rotarians.  Dad holds a special place in our hearts, and on Father’s Day, he deserves the best!  In a 2011 newspaper contest people were encouraged to send in their funny ‘Dad Stories’ so I thought I’d share a few of them with you…

Thanks for the Soda, Pop… Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid.  Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. Thanks to his creativity, I finished my trip safely.

Say What, Dad?... Our Gen-X daughter, Christie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:  “Can you turn up that music?”  “Go ahead and take my truck; here’s 50 bucks for gas.”  “I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”  “Here, you take the remote.”

What a Card… Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.  When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots.  “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked. “Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”  “No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”

Papa Bear… My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for UPS. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”  Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”

Pop Vs. Pup… While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”

No. 1 on Our List — Literally! My father never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mom was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the grocery store for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.  Dad returned home, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

There you have it, our tribute to Fathers as the Bottom of our News on this Friday, June 15th, 2012.

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